Bridal Board

[Ava in Indiana]

Crista,
My family and friends like to drink - not too much, but I want to have beer and wine at the wedding. My in-laws are very religious and will be offended if we do. In fact, his Grandma may not even come. My fiance'e agrees with me but doesn't want to make his family angry. Any suggestions?

[Crista Tharp & Associates, Inc., in IN]

Dear Ava, first let me say, "you are in a tough spot." However, there are ways of making it work. I had this exact situation in a wedding last year and it happens more than you may think. Here are my suggestions:

First, your In-Laws need to realize that this is your wedding too and they can not punish you and your family because you believe differently than they do.

Second, you need to be VERY RESPECTFUL. You and your Groom need to sit down with them and share why you are choosing to do this, and tell them there is no disrespect intended.

Third, you may want to consider having a seating chart by table. This way, you can place the family members that don't want alcohol as far away from the bar as possible. Also, if you choose to do a champagne toast, go the extra distance by supplying their tables with Sparkling Cider. This way, they will know that you are being as respectful as possible but you are still trying to include them. Make sure that the staff working your wedding is aware of this issue.

Finally, it all comes down to choice. You and your Love will have to make the decision if you are going to stand your ground or back off for the sake of family. I wish you luck and a fabulous marriage!